Time is relative to the one who is experiencing it.
For a person who is stationary, time moves in a steady stream. For a moving person, it will seem to be experienced differently.
Of late it has become a sort of a habit for me and wife to head to the kitchen after putting the kids to bed to just have a cup of coffee and chat about things. Sometimes I'd take out some snacks or ice cream to go with it.
We'd talk about the kids, our ideas, the past, the future.
Tonight was no different.
She had her almond shake. I had my coffee. We sat at the table opposite one another.
9 years it has been since we got married to each other. 3 kids.
Yet I still feel like that we haven't changed that much.
Went to KLCC earlier this afternoon. Brought the kids to the playground, had lunch at Chili's. A few days earlier I had a team lunch just a few tables away. Nelly Furtado's song was played back then. Never gets old.
She talked about the couple a few tables away from us, having lunch peacefully with their bigger kids (in comparison with ours). She wondered when we could do the same.
Muja threw a tantrum when we decided to head back to the car. All the way from Kinokuniya to the open space carpark beside the Mandarin Hotel. He was crying, screaming and hitting me throughout our walk back to the carpark.
Me and wife laughed it off. Wife said she wouldn't want it any other way.
Yeah... this is our story. Our kids, our journey. Why swap it with somebody elses'.
The kids grew up fast we thought to ourselves.
Too fast.
In this stationary situation that we're in, where my wife and I seemed stuck in a perpetual time loop in our own little bubble - everything around us seems to be moving by so fast. Work. Family. Kids.
Looked into her eyes as she was rambling about something else. We're still that pair of teenager who longs for each other's company.
I do that sometimes. Freezing time and just trying to capture the moment.
I told her that I love her.
"I know.", she cheekily smiled.
For a person who is stationary, time moves in a steady stream. For a moving person, it will seem to be experienced differently.
Of late it has become a sort of a habit for me and wife to head to the kitchen after putting the kids to bed to just have a cup of coffee and chat about things. Sometimes I'd take out some snacks or ice cream to go with it.
We'd talk about the kids, our ideas, the past, the future.
Tonight was no different.
She had her almond shake. I had my coffee. We sat at the table opposite one another.
9 years it has been since we got married to each other. 3 kids.
Yet I still feel like that we haven't changed that much.
Went to KLCC earlier this afternoon. Brought the kids to the playground, had lunch at Chili's. A few days earlier I had a team lunch just a few tables away. Nelly Furtado's song was played back then. Never gets old.
She talked about the couple a few tables away from us, having lunch peacefully with their bigger kids (in comparison with ours). She wondered when we could do the same.
Muja threw a tantrum when we decided to head back to the car. All the way from Kinokuniya to the open space carpark beside the Mandarin Hotel. He was crying, screaming and hitting me throughout our walk back to the carpark.
Me and wife laughed it off. Wife said she wouldn't want it any other way.
Yeah... this is our story. Our kids, our journey. Why swap it with somebody elses'.
The kids grew up fast we thought to ourselves.
Too fast.
In this stationary situation that we're in, where my wife and I seemed stuck in a perpetual time loop in our own little bubble - everything around us seems to be moving by so fast. Work. Family. Kids.
Looked into her eyes as she was rambling about something else. We're still that pair of teenager who longs for each other's company.
I do that sometimes. Freezing time and just trying to capture the moment.
I told her that I love her.
"I know.", she cheekily smiled.
I think it's fast becoming a trend with me to only write a few blogpost each year. More often than not I attribute it to not having enough time to write about my life. I guess who'd read it right?
But alas - I would.
A talk with a friend recently reminded me of how interesting this blog used to be, and wondered whether I would continue writing. I really didn't know to be honest. While I was busy keeping track of all the social media feeds, podcasts, books to read, family, work, kids - guess I somehow lost myself along the way and forgot about this fortress of solitude.
Blogging has always been a way for me to express myself. Or rather - writing/typing has always been my best medium.
And I guess not everyone can do this - this blogging thing. Which is quite surprising for me actually, since it seemed to be easy for me. Well...it's easy if you're writing it to and for yourself with no particular audience in mind. Especially not to sell ads - that'd be harder I suppose.
Reading my past blogposts, I'm especially glad that I did write extensively when I was young (..ehem..). My nostalgic self appreciates it much. Looking at past pictures, the ones with baby Safiyya, playhouse and all - you tend to forget that those happened more than 5 years ago.
The playhouse now look more or less exactly the same as I've recorded it years ago yet Safiyya is now totally different.
Time.
Time flies.
At heart I still feel like I'm stuck in my early 20s. My body is aging, though not apparent. It has lost much of it's elasticity..but other than that I guess it's pretty much the same.
There's something about blogging that triggers this certain emotion. Like a whirlwind sucking you into a room of despair and hopelessness, provoking all those nostalgia, forcing you to reminisce about time long gone.
Or maybe that's because I'm a Pisces (we tend to sometimes get stuck in an emotional rollercoaster).
At the moment I have a plan to blog about the books that I read as a way to reinforce the things that I've learned. Perhaps that's one way I could get back to personal blogging (I also maintain www.hafidzzulkifli.com as a career-fronting blog).
But alas - I would.
A talk with a friend recently reminded me of how interesting this blog used to be, and wondered whether I would continue writing. I really didn't know to be honest. While I was busy keeping track of all the social media feeds, podcasts, books to read, family, work, kids - guess I somehow lost myself along the way and forgot about this fortress of solitude.
Blogging has always been a way for me to express myself. Or rather - writing/typing has always been my best medium.
And I guess not everyone can do this - this blogging thing. Which is quite surprising for me actually, since it seemed to be easy for me. Well...it's easy if you're writing it to and for yourself with no particular audience in mind. Especially not to sell ads - that'd be harder I suppose.
Reading my past blogposts, I'm especially glad that I did write extensively when I was young (..ehem..). My nostalgic self appreciates it much. Looking at past pictures, the ones with baby Safiyya, playhouse and all - you tend to forget that those happened more than 5 years ago.
The playhouse now look more or less exactly the same as I've recorded it years ago yet Safiyya is now totally different.
Time.
Time flies.
At heart I still feel like I'm stuck in my early 20s. My body is aging, though not apparent. It has lost much of it's elasticity..but other than that I guess it's pretty much the same.
There's something about blogging that triggers this certain emotion. Like a whirlwind sucking you into a room of despair and hopelessness, provoking all those nostalgia, forcing you to reminisce about time long gone.
Or maybe that's because I'm a Pisces (we tend to sometimes get stuck in an emotional rollercoaster).
At the moment I have a plan to blog about the books that I read as a way to reinforce the things that I've learned. Perhaps that's one way I could get back to personal blogging (I also maintain www.hafidzzulkifli.com as a career-fronting blog).
Recently my brother noticed my name popping up in a blog by Recomn. It was about a post I did on wood prices circa 2012 - back when I built the playhouse for Yaya.
Since then I did a couple of projects, but not as extensive as the playhouse.
I did build an IKEA KURA bed for Yaya from scratch (like 3 years ago) - though I was really (like REAALLLYY) lazy to jot it all down in the blog.
Having gone through the earlier mentioned blog - I guess it's probably a trend nowadays to build your own furniture. So to those out there looking for a how-to : I hope you'll appreciate this post.
1. Get your dimensions from IKEA. Like seriously. I went to IKEA a few days before I started the project with my measuring tape and got all the dimensions. Thinking back about it - I'm glad they didn't kick me out of that place for stealing their ideas. :P
2. Buy your pieces of wood as per your measurement, cut, and sand them.
3. If you did the cutting right, you'll realize that piecing them all together is really not that hard. In fact it's more or less like assembling an IKEA furniture. For those who are lazy, you could just nail them the pieces together or screw them up. In my case however, I've joined them using a bolt and barrel nut (update: and dowels) so that I can disassemble them later without worrying whether the joined parts will loosen up or something.
4. This is what it looks like once you've pieced them all together. I bought the bed support slats at IKEA since I wanted to fit an IKEA mattress on top (ok..that's a really lame reason i know. Actually I was just lazy to piece them all together.)
5. The rest are just aesthetic I suppose. I bought some laminated plywood and nailed them to the sides.
6. Some painting... (thanks Bibik)
7. Some wood finishings...
8. And we let it dry off.
Finally, one happy customer.
After all said and done, I'm sure most of you might be thinking about the cost. Fret not! After digging up my old notes, here's what I found:
At this juncture I'm thanking my old-self for being so anal about documenting things. A check at IKEA's website showed that the KURA bed itself costs around RM 749 (without the other accessories) - so I guess you're still saving some money. Plus I was using the Balau wood for the bed - which is way stronger than pine in terms of durability - I'm hoping that it'll last for decades.
After awhile we've decided to flip the bed over since ... well I can't remember the details since it was like 3 years ago. In any case this is how it looks like when flipped.
Update: I used to have this habit of using Evernote for my projects. Luckily, my account is still active. Hop over to my notes for more insights (ie wood pieces dimensions, research notes etc)
Since then I did a couple of projects, but not as extensive as the playhouse.
I did build an IKEA KURA bed for Yaya from scratch (like 3 years ago) - though I was really (like REAALLLYY) lazy to jot it all down in the blog.
Having gone through the earlier mentioned blog - I guess it's probably a trend nowadays to build your own furniture. So to those out there looking for a how-to : I hope you'll appreciate this post.
 |
| Tools of the trade. |
1. Get your dimensions from IKEA. Like seriously. I went to IKEA a few days before I started the project with my measuring tape and got all the dimensions. Thinking back about it - I'm glad they didn't kick me out of that place for stealing their ideas. :P
 |
| Busy helper. |
3. If you did the cutting right, you'll realize that piecing them all together is really not that hard. In fact it's more or less like assembling an IKEA furniture. For those who are lazy, you could just nail them the pieces together or screw them up. In my case however, I've joined them using a bolt and barrel nut (update: and dowels) so that I can disassemble them later without worrying whether the joined parts will loosen up or something.
| Barrel nut. |
 |
| Bolt |
5. The rest are just aesthetic I suppose. I bought some laminated plywood and nailed them to the sides.
6. Some painting... (thanks Bibik)
7. Some wood finishings...
8. And we let it dry off.
Finally, one happy customer.
After all said and done, I'm sure most of you might be thinking about the cost. Fret not! After digging up my old notes, here's what I found:
At this juncture I'm thanking my old-self for being so anal about documenting things. A check at IKEA's website showed that the KURA bed itself costs around RM 749 (without the other accessories) - so I guess you're still saving some money. Plus I was using the Balau wood for the bed - which is way stronger than pine in terms of durability - I'm hoping that it'll last for decades.
After awhile we've decided to flip the bed over since ... well I can't remember the details since it was like 3 years ago. In any case this is how it looks like when flipped.
Update: I used to have this habit of using Evernote for my projects. Luckily, my account is still active. Hop over to my notes for more insights (ie wood pieces dimensions, research notes etc)
As of recent, I often read FB statuses of my friends lamenting that given the choice; they really wish that they could quit their day job, stay at home and look after their kids.
As a husband who's fortunate enough to be able to let his wife do exactly that, I thought I'd share a word or two on the subject. An op-ed piece if you will.
1. Can you afford it? Since your husband will be the sole breadwinner of the family, ensure that his salary can accommodate your family's monthly commitment. This means making some significant lifestyle changes along the way as you guys are now earning much less than previously.
2. Plan for the what-ifs. Going back on my first point, your husband is now the family's sole breadwinner. That means if he's dead (I'm very blunt like that...) , you (and your kids) will lose your only source of income. How prepared are you for that? Assuming that you're not from a very well-off family, this means that you'll be getting yourself in some deep, inescapable shithole. Reflect on that. Hence, ensure that your main source of income (aka your husband) has a nice fat life insurance policy to ensure your family's survival if he's no longer able to work or earn as much as he normally does. Reinvest his insured sum so that you could get a continuous flow of income every year.
3. Learn how to cook. This goes a long way in cutting down the monthly expenses. Especially in these post-GST days.
4. Learn how to educate. Tuition fees cost a lot these days, so it'd be great if you could cover some of that by yourself. Instead of sending your kids to that premium kindergarten, maybe you could (actually you really should) try teaching them the basics at home instead. Make use of online teaching materials. Maybe you could teach your daughter piano yourself by self-learning about it from YouTube (If you're up for it - maybe you could even home-school your kids. There are some communities here in Malaysia that does this, but it hasn't really taken up traction yet).
5. Learn to manage the household. Let go of that maid. You probably don't need her to begin with.
6. You will have no social life. Well I don't really mean that in a significant, literal sense. But you will tend to miss your lunch buddies a lot. The banter at the office. The occasional trips to the mamaks. The simple things in life. What you'll have instead is a banter with a 4 year old, an ad-hoc meals whenever time permits you to, and occasionally you'll be lucky enough to be able spend some quality time, by yourself, in the toilet. Try to absorb that fact. Such is your life.
7. You will get to enjoy the finer things in life. The previous point being said, you will now be able to see the other side of life you didn't get to enjoy before. Waking up late by your newborn son and seeing how he would start to wake up at the break of dawn. That first roll-over. That first wobbly steps. The creative side of your daughter. The smart-ass questions. That moment where you all just lay on the lawn and just do nothing but look at the clear blue sky..(ok..I'm exaggerating a bit here - KL's sky is never THAT blue to begin with)
8. Get a hobby. I've always thought of the brain as a very awesomely powerful tool. As we get older however, it will get rusty. Since you're no longer at work, your will find that your brain is going to get stimulated lesser and lesser every single day. From experience I know that I often feel sleepy when I'm babysitting the kids, and I realized that this is actually due to my mind not being stimulated enough to be able to stay awake (probably I'm not wired for these stuff). And that is just for a couple of hours. Imagine doing this 24 by 7, 365 days a year. So to me, mental stimulation is very crucial. Learn a new language. Maybe sewing. Build your own cabinet? - why not. Get a masters degree - even better (smarter parents make smarter kids - no?)
9. Of morality and ethics. I think one of the main reason that convinced me that this was the way to go is the fact that I've became unconvinced that the school system or society as whole would be able to teach my kids the importance of having good moral values (so maaayybbeee social media is partly responsible in overblowing this fact - but I'm still a concerned parent. Especially when you have a daughter - take that concern and multiply it by a million). To form a good country, you need a good society. To have that, you need good citizens. Maids don't have any obligation to nurture good citizens. They're obligated to clean up your house, but they don't really need to ensure that your kids behave at home or teach them how to properly interact with elders. It's just not part of their KPI. At some point in the past, teachers were empowered to do this (but sadly not now anymore). So I suppose I felt compelled to get back to the basics, nurturing morality from the home (as it should be). And to do this, thus, someone needs to stay at home. Someone needs to be that role model and show them what is good and what is not, how to talk and what not to do. It all seems fairly simple and it actually really is. It's just that it is a very time consuming process (hint: it never ends) - which lead some parents to tend to outsource this aspect of life lessons to a third party. Kids learn by repetition, and there'll need to be someone to do the enforcing and encouraging. This someone hence - in my very fortunate case - is my wife.
10. Challenges. Of course there will be people who disagrees with you. You're basically cutting your earning power in half. You're putting yourself at risk if your significant other leaves you. You'll be left less empowered than now when you have a secure, day job. They are all valid concerns and you will need to be able to address them rationally and confidently, or you'll be asking the same questions later to yourselves. The people highlighting these concerns are not being negative for the sake of being negative - they're concerned because they care, so you should too. Go through with them what your plan is and how they think you could get there. Maybe they think that it shouldn't be done too soon and you need to do some preparation first. Something is better than nothing. Involvement in decision making sometimes ensures the acceptance of your idea.
I am not really an advocate of stay-at-home moms or anything. While I think that it has its merits, different people have to deal with different life circumstances so my thoughts and opinions are I suppose strictly limited to my family. For those who's yet to make the jump, I bid you all the best in your journey. For those who'll not, I'm sure you have some good plans of your own to raise your family. At the end of the day, we're all parents who wants the best possible outcome for our children.
*Update* While it's easy for one to say or come to a conclusion that one wants to be a stay-at-home-mom, one also needs to realize the responsibility that comes with that. Your role (the one that stays at home) effectively will now be more supportive rather than leading (or co-lead, as some feminists would probably put it). Reflect on this. Understand what this means. If you can't, among others - it means that your husband might be compelled to work late into the nights to get that promotion, it means that he might be pursuing that certificate or postgraduate degree to enable him to climb that ladder quicker - and that would mean that you, needs to take care of the kids more and probably during the weekends as well. His sole focus would be to ensure that your family would be financially stable and if he's ambitious, he would still want to retire early and enjoy life during both of your golden age. That would mean he'll work even harder (since he's doing it alone now) to accumulate the necessary wealth to enable him to do that within his planned timeline. On your side, you'll need to shift your focus on the kids, nurturing them and providing the necessary attention that they deserve. I'm not saying or claiming that the breadwinner would be entitled to simply ignore you and the kids and just focus on his/her career - on the contrary I'm just trying to state the potential things that might occur along the way and how as a family, role and responsibility will change and expectations need to be amended accordingly (so that you don't keep on clinging to that what-ifs).
*Update* While it's easy for one to say or come to a conclusion that one wants to be a stay-at-home-mom, one also needs to realize the responsibility that comes with that. Your role (the one that stays at home) effectively will now be more supportive rather than leading (or co-lead, as some feminists would probably put it). Reflect on this. Understand what this means. If you can't, among others - it means that your husband might be compelled to work late into the nights to get that promotion, it means that he might be pursuing that certificate or postgraduate degree to enable him to climb that ladder quicker - and that would mean that you, needs to take care of the kids more and probably during the weekends as well. His sole focus would be to ensure that your family would be financially stable and if he's ambitious, he would still want to retire early and enjoy life during both of your golden age. That would mean he'll work even harder (since he's doing it alone now) to accumulate the necessary wealth to enable him to do that within his planned timeline. On your side, you'll need to shift your focus on the kids, nurturing them and providing the necessary attention that they deserve. I'm not saying or claiming that the breadwinner would be entitled to simply ignore you and the kids and just focus on his/her career - on the contrary I'm just trying to state the potential things that might occur along the way and how as a family, role and responsibility will change and expectations need to be amended accordingly (so that you don't keep on clinging to that what-ifs).
Who doesn't like a chalk board right? Especially those huge ass ones that can make every kids go crazy doodling stuff and what not.
I finally went and did it after we've decided to redo our family area (i.e TV et al) and turn it a place where our kids can play around and stuff - a play area/nursery of sorts.
Colours for our wall..picky picky...
The catalyst for this was actually our tiles flooring. It somehow managed to expand and burst itself off of our floor - creating a very unpleasant sight to behold and a hazard for kids and adults alike. So it went from redo-ing the flooring, to talks about "why not we change the paint as well?" and then "a chalk board over here would be nice wouldn't you think?" and later "this futon set can use a paint job - yellow would look nice actually".Things have a way of evolving I suppose.
Back to the chalk board. To make a chalk board - you need to main items: A chalk paint, and a board.
For the paint, I got myself a black chalk paint from https://www.facebook.com/CandyPaintAsia. If I recall correctly, I bought it at MBE outlet in Paradigm Mall. They sell it by the sqm covered. So in my case, I bought the one that can cover up to 3sqm for around RM120. Quite pricey - but considering that I don't make chalk board every so often - plus it claims that it's water based (the alternative being a spray can by Krylon, you can find those in ACE Hardware), it's "probably" worth it.
And next you need a board. Well you don't really have to have one if your wall has an even surface. In my case, it wasn't. So I bought a 3mm thick 4ft X 8ft (4x8 is the default size btw) for around RM60.
The alternative of getting a plywood would be to use a wall liner. That being said - I couldn't find any shop online/offline that sells this item in Malaysia.
Below are some pics that I've managed to take throughout my not-so major project.
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| Sand the plywood thoroughly. Apply primer if you want (I did). |
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| Paint several coats of the chalk board paint accordingly. (or just follow the instructions provided with paint itself) |
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| Cutting the frames. |
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| Lining the board up against the wall before hanging. |
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| Curing the board. |
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| And now - enjoy the show |
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| And what would a play room be without some Lego right? |
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| Sprayed my four-legged foldable table white so that we could see the Lego parts easier. Looks nice too! |
Guess it's been awhile (a long while) since my last post.
In case you couldn't tell (judging from the time I'm posting this blog) - I'm having trouble to sleep right now. So why not blog eh?
Just wow..it has been years since my last post.
A lot have happened in between.
A lot.
I probably wouldn't have time to fill in the gaps even if wanted too. Will probably try. Probably be in vain though.
Becoming a parent.
I've recently been blessed with a 2nd child - a son now. We've named him Alaa Mujahid, after one of our favourite speaker/motivator/cleric Sheikh Alaa Elsayed and Mujahid..well that one came from my wife since she's fond of that name.
So a pair - Alhamdulillah.
A lot more work now I suppose. :)
In case you couldn't tell (judging from the time I'm posting this blog) - I'm having trouble to sleep right now. So why not blog eh?
Just wow..it has been years since my last post.
A lot have happened in between.
A lot.
I probably wouldn't have time to fill in the gaps even if wanted too. Will probably try. Probably be in vain though.
Becoming a parent.
I've recently been blessed with a 2nd child - a son now. We've named him Alaa Mujahid, after one of our favourite speaker/motivator/cleric Sheikh Alaa Elsayed and Mujahid..well that one came from my wife since she's fond of that name.
So a pair - Alhamdulillah.
A lot more work now I suppose. :)
It's been awhile now (this sort of introduction to my blog is quickly becoming a cliche now...) that I've written here.
So far work has been great - in the sense that when you work at a three man (now reduced to just two) office there's no a lot of politics (not that it was a problem before mind you) going around. I mean you just have two guys doing their work - how fucked up can things get?
This rather sudden (well I think it was rather sudden) interest into woodwork is attributed to this website - Ana White. I'm sure pretty much all of us are into building things ourselves to suit our liking and all that - and I think the thing that we lack the most is actually just direction and guidance. So to actually find a website that gives you a step by step tutorial on how to build your own stuff (in my case a playhouse) is just really amazing (Ana White Playhouse (Deck)). You'll be amazed at the vast arrays of website that seemingly shows you how to do things - but don't really stoop down to the beginner level and explain things in detail on how things actually come together. (I really like the way she google sketched all her projects).
The thing about these articles coming from a US-folk is well...they're intended for Americans mostly. The lumber there are rather cheap, and so does their power tools. So sometimes it's not that easy to follow all those instructions to the letter.
That's where both of my dads come in.
For the past few weeks I've been doing a lot of research on types of wood, joinery, finishing, etc..and having Evernote around on a tablet really helps get things in order. Here's what I have so far on my notes on things, Safiyya playhouse n slide. But don't take it too seriously though - it's supposed to be my notes, not a how-to guide.
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| Overall it took me around RM600 to be able to get from this stage... |
 |
| ..to this stage |
| Jenis Kayu/Type of Wood | Saiz/Size (in inches) | Harga/Price (RM) |
| Balau (ketam/planed) (sekaki/foot) | 4x4 '' | 12.50 |
| 2x6 '' | 10.00 | |
| 2x4 '' | 5.20 | |
| 1x3 '' | 1.60 | |
| 1x4 '' | 2.70 | |
| 1x2 '' | 0.90 | |
| Meranti (ketam/planed) (sekaki/foot) | 2x4 '' | 2.50 |
| 1x2 '' | 0.65 | |
| Kempas | 2x4 '' (treated) (tak ketam/not planed) | 1.80 |
| 1x2 '' (treated) | 0.45 |
I get my lumbers from Yisheng Hardware & Timber near where I live (in Kg Subang) - and to save you the additional trouble of trying to find what sort of wood is available with their prices, here's their number :03-78461590. Note: I don't really get anything out of this. I probably should though. They probably haven't heard about the internet yet.
I normally would just call them during office hours and ask them for so-so size of wood, what's the price for a feet? Or if you're really new to woodwork - just tell them what you're trying to build and they could probably suggest to you the kind of wood you should be working with (I don't really follow up on their advises though. Do your own research.)
Some other website that I consider to be useful would include Malaysia Timber Council Wood Wizard App. The tool there helps you determine the suitable choice of wood for various application.
There's actually a lot of stuff I've been meaning to write down about different aspects of the project - due to my love of documenting and also the fact that I like to be reminded from time to time. But it's getting really late now and I should really be heading back to bed (blogging is a luxury only an owl could afford now that Safiyya's around).
Safiyya is already 10 months old.
Times do fly rather quick I suppose. Or slow depending on how you look at it. She can't walk still, but it does sometimes feel like it was only yesterday that she just learned how to turn her self over.
Driving that Proton BLM everyday to work sometimes reminded me of the day when I was driving her and my wife back from the hospital back when she was just born. I was then worried about every bump on the road, about the slightest shock the car would make - worried that it would somehow have some sort of negative or detrimental effect to my newborn baby.
Fast forward several months, with a couple of accidents along the way - we now know that Safiyya Amani is one very tough baby indeed. Alhamdulillah is due of course.
It took Kak Aty to remind me that with some hard work and less complaining, I could actually get a lot of work done and have a more comfortable living space to breath in. For those of you who does not know who Kak Aty is, she is a maid who's employed with my aunt which I've borrowed a couple of weeks back. Having her around has basically made me feel more organized I suppose. Guess it was really about how to manage your time and get the stuff that needs doing done.
She's not with us anymore if any of you are wondering, but the impression that she made - lasted. So now I'm changing my routine. I've decided that from now onwards I could probably leave for work a bit later than usual. I've decided that I'm gonna spend more time with my Safiyya in the morning, because I'll probably end up reaching home late at night no matter what. So thats that.
Amazingly with that decided, I could now give her a morning bath, clean up the room, make some breakfast, iron some clothes, and at times - rock her to sleep. Not to shabby I suppose.
Of course, the getting back late from work part would need to be addressed as well - as it's not conducive for my marriage at all. But at the moment that's how things are probably going to be. I'm so used to sleeping early nowadays that I find it rather hard to do any work at all during the night - hence why I usually decide not to work at home and rather finish them at the office before returning. That part would have to change sometime later I suppose.
Owh - and we're probably gonna be able to move into our new house as early (well I guess I shouldn't call it early...its been months now) as next month! Yippee..(me in excitedness mode). And I think when Safiyya has learned to walk, I'll probably take her on a stroll as well every morning - just to let her experience the nature more (and she likes cats btw). :)
I probably should stop writing right about now. Probably wouldn't wanna attract that much attention after what has happened at my last place.
But that wouldn't be me now would it.
A month or so have passed since I joined Aircom International. They're good a company to work for I guess. Not very well organize in certain departments - but they're getting there I suppose (more like I hope so). Being in the company for just one month doesn't really give me the rights to actually bitch about anything, but hey - that's how I see it at the moment.
From what I can garner so far - it's actually a pretty neat place to be at. The product is well..just another product, but makes this place more interesting than the last would be the people working in it. I find them to have so much experience and knowledge that I gather it could take me some years to learn off of these guys. Yeah...guys. Some are actually pretty "experienced" if you get what I mean. Kinda think about it - I'm actually the youngest of the bunch. The average of my team would be somewhere like 37 -40...and I'm 26. Haha.
So yeah, I am glad and thankful that Allah have given me this path to take - to be able to join such a company whereby there is so much I could learn and so many seniors that could (hopefully) teach and guide me.
The work hours haven't been good though. On a typical day you'd see me getting up very early in the morning (much earlier than usual I suppose) to catch the 730am - 8am KTM train at Batu Tiga. From there it would take the train around 30-45 minutes to get to KL Sentral. Later a swift walk from the train to Maxis office would take me like 15 minutes. I usually would arrive at my cube sometime near 9am.
And I usually reach home around 8-9pm.
It's a rather sad state to be in where when you get home and you could only see and play with your baby for just a short while until she goes to sleep and you yourself are having some dinner downstairs alone.
My schedules really need to change.
Anywho, at this point in time - I just got back from the UK office to "supposedly" attend some sort of product training. Luckily, my wife did manage to slip herself and our baby along with me and we were there for a good 3 weeks. Yeah...these opportunity don't come often, so we might as well make good use of it.
I have tons of UK pics posted in facebook - which I am too lazy too post over here in the blog. Owh well. You readers would just have to take my word for it. Hoho.
It was a great trip overall. It had all the ingredients - laughter, sorrow, drama, suspense, you name it - it's there. Safiyya had much fun too. She was busy annoying other train passangers and looking into other people's bag. Aww...isn't that cute~ :)
The best part I like about working there would be the fact that the office was just a walking distance away, and sometimes at lunch - I could have them with my wife while sitting somewhere at a nearby park under the sunny - cool sky (with Safiyya crawling around).
In any case - I'm not sure when will be the next time I'll be writing back here. It guess it was quite some time from my last post. Anyways hopefully I won't be leaving this blog too long to be collecting dusts.
:)
Work
It's been good. Sometimes great. Sometimes well..not-so great. After spending almost 3 years in Comptel - I will finally be leaving them. Hopefully the experience will be as good if not better. Can't say that I'm not worried about the prospect of leaving my comfort zone - I am. I really am. But one can't, or must not, dwell too much in the comfort zone. Especially when one is as young I am. There are still much to see out there. Still many perspective and viewpoints to see from. To limit myself to just one will mean that I am actually holding myself back to view the world and its challenges.
It's the money. It's the knowledge. It's the experience. It's a little bit here and there. Hijrah tu penting. Ibarat air, kalau duduk setempat je lame2, busukla air tu. Macam lopak. Jadi sekali sekala kenalah mengalir, ubah persepsi dan cabar diri sendiri. Barulah minda tak kontang, akal berkembang.
Buntalbeads
The website recently went through some major layout revamp. It looks better now I suppose. Looks sleeker and more professional. Not that it matter much (it does to me though - I always love a neat and clean design) since we're not running the business that seriously. I guess in the end - we never really thought of the business as our actual source of income - it's just something that we do to learn, have fun, and get some cash along the way.
Personally, for me at least, it feels rewarding to actually have someone else buying stuff from you. More so when you are selling something that you deeply believe in. Bean bags. I love bean bags. That's why I enjoy selling them I suppose. Even more so when they (the bean bags) are quite hard to find (cheap) in Malaysia.
There are exceptions of course - some lowyat forumers have been selling them at quite a reasonable price before we started the biz. So kudos to them for bringing a great product to the masses (or other forumers). Not sure about the quality though. That's why we started ours. :)
I am at times tempted to post a [WTS] topic in there (Lowyat forum) as well - you know to get more sales in. But the thing is, if there were too many demand to be met with so little resources to supply it - chances are we will no longer have fun and get the same satisfaction as we previous did. It will tire and bore us and the business would probably die as a result. Hypothetically speaking of course. Thus (for now at least) we'll just depend on good 'ol facebook and friend's recommendation as the mean to expand our reach.
It hasn't been easy down in the production line. With Safiyya constantly demanding attention from her mom - actual work can only be done late at night when Safiyya is asleep. Hence again why we prefer not to have a lot of customers (not a good business model there - i know).
Life
I'll be missing Comptel I can tell you that. It gave me a lot - and hopefully I've done my dues while I was there. Apart from that - the bank loan process seems to be going rather smoothly (okla sikit..), so hopefully I'd be able to move in to our new house soon. Yippee~
On to the next adventure!
p/s: Happy CNY '11 to those celebrating :)
It's 2011. It's the year touted to be the year of the tablet and would also bring forward a huge collection of movies based on comic books.
Anyway here's my list of must-watch movies for this year (as a reminder for me to watch them when they actually come out. You tend to forget about these things as you go back to your usual daily routine).
1. Wanted 2 (no available poster).
2. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (not that I've seen Part 1 yet btw.)
3. Captain America.
4. Transformers: Dark of the Moon.
5. Super 8.
6. Limitless.
7. X-Men: First Class.
8. The Hangover: Part 2
11. The Adjustment Bureau. Based on a short story from Philip K. Dick. You just gotta love his stories. :)
12. Battle: Los Angeles.
13. I Am Number Four
Happy 2011! :)
I don't particularly have anything to blog about actually - just putting down a few pics taken earlier tonight.
Kids... they can sure make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside don't they.
Alhamdulillah.
Ketap! Ketap! Grin~~~
Again with the wish lists. Haha.
I've been reading a couple of (well...to be honest just one recently..lol) ebooks as of late. But it got me thinking about what are the better ways one could have to read these ebooks. I mean, who in their right mind would wanna carry around them bulky laptops (or even a netbook) just to read a book?
Then comes the tablet - or in my case - iPad. With a price tag of over 1k++ for it's cheapest model (suitable for cheap people like myself..ehem), I guess it's quite a hefty sum to pay. Though somehow I personally do think that in time it will prove to be a worthwhile investment due to its usefulness and practicality (ehem..since I am the kind of person who read a lot. No really - I do. )
Ahh..then I could read all those downloaded mangas, that Watchmen novel, that Marvel Civil War series - owh the joy! :)
For now though - I've been taking a break (or a long break/breaks rather) from my Oracle exam preparation and peeking/glancing/devouring/fantasizing on DSLR-related books by David duChemin. I like the fact that the book (Vision and Voice) not only stops to teach you how to properly fix or refine your pictures - it also includes his insight/philosophy on the art of picture taking. I kinda get that artsy feeling after downing a few chapters..lol.
Unfortunately for me - the hardcopy of the book is not available at the bookstores that I've gone to these past few days. Fortunately, there's Amazon (and my wife's credit card).
When selecting which ebooks to download - I find the reviews people put in Amazon to be of much help. I mean - can you imagine the amount of free (pirated) ebooks available out there? A LOT! And knowing me - sometimes I just feel like downloading all of the ebooks available out there (the one that interests me of course). There's just so much stuff to learn - but so little time. So due that latter factor mentioned - time - I guess the next best thing (or rather the smarter thing) is to actually rely on others before me who've actually gone through and digested them.
...
Running out stuff to rant - returning to my faithful (with those occasional blue screen) laptop to read some more ebooks.
Is seriously thinking of getting himself a Bigfoot. I'm pretty sure it's gonna cost me an arm and a leg though...
:(
Sigh~...guess I'm really a sucker for these sort of things.
Safiyya, Life, Some Crazy Talk On Studying and The Perceived Smartness of People.
2 comments Posted by Hafidz at 11/27/2010Safiyya.
Safiyya is now 4 months old. Her weight by now have gone up to around 7 kg.
Not that any of those numbers matter to me, since it hardly mean anything when you got nothing to compare it against with. As far as I'm concerned, as long as the figure is somewhere near that dotted line in that monthly medical check up chart of her's - guess that's good enough for me.
People have been telling me that she's quite big and heavy for her age. But again - as long as the numbers are within those dotted lines in that chart - that's normal enough for me.
While I love to go on and on and just write about Safiyya, I guess that wouldn't fairly reflect the life that I'm living on right now. It probably won't matter to me now - but I guess when I'm old and forgetful (and would probably wet my pants every now and then) - I'd also want to know what else was going on with my life back then (the time when I'm not pissing in my pants) at this very moment. And while I would love to say that it was all about caring and loving and giving that huge, long kiss on her cheek everyday morning and night (and repeating that on the next day) - I could not.
Life.
I do other things as well. Yes Hafidz, you do other things as well in case you've forgotten about it.
You go to work. You have a wife. You have that brother up in Purdue who's still in some weird dilemma on how to lead his life. You have your parents who've just got back safely from Amman, Jordan. And your big sister is about to give birth to a baby girl next month insyallah. And that baby's name is probably going to be Aleesha Qaira (thanks mom for "accidentally" slipping the name out).
Work.
Work is ... well it's getting dull I guess. But one would probably expect this sort of things when one have been with a company for quite sometime. After awhile it gets kinda repetitive. And unchallenging. I guess what I'm trying to say is I need something to challenge myself with. Might be a new job scope. A new responsibility. A new side-project. Or maybe, a new job. For now though - I'm just working on my Oracle SQL certificate. Has been quite awhile since I did one of this things. I kind of missed it (the studying part) as well I guess (the last one was CCNA). These journey-to-get-that-certificate really kinda motivates you in wanting to study those things which you know would benefit your career but sometimes are just simply lazy to do. And after that -well probably another Oracle cert as well. DBA? PL/SQL? Haven't really given much thought about that yet. Baby steps...
Study.
I like studying I suppose. My brother loves it too. He likes it so much that he's probably gonna end up doing a PhD after he finishes his studies next year. Personally I'm kinda hoping that he does it oversea since their universities have that conducive learning environment that is so scarce (IMO) in Malaysia. Not that I have an insider's view or anything - it's just my general perception of how things are in Malaysia. I might be wrong.
Myself? Though I don't see myself pursuing a PhD in the near vicinity - I wouldn't scratch that possibility just yet. I might do it - though not yet. I prefer to do it when I have achieved financial stability for my family. I prefer to do it when I'm doing it for the sake of learning and the better understanding of things I love to know more about - like stuff on telecommunication for instance. Hurmmmm..now that I think about it - nahh. Haha. I'd rather appreciate the knowledge that people already has discovered and make/innovate something useful/fun using them rather than discovering new frontiers. Guess I'll just leave that discovering part to my brother. :)
But yeah - people should love studying. I'm not sure how things will fare in the future - but I have a gut feeling that people (or rather our kids' generation) will eventually define the process of studying/research as "the ability to write a successful google query on based the given question at hand". While I have to admit, googling have saved me a lot of valuable time getting me that useful bit of information - it still does not equate to a proper, methodological process of knowledge derivation (in which I might add would also give you more substance to your understanding).
The process of learning is actually quite simple. You always start at the beginning. And you would end at the very end. If you do somehow find something from the middle pages (like googling) - chances are you won't know what to make of it anyhow. After a few clicks and hours of confusion - you realize that you might as well just pick that book off of Amazon and have a go through the whole thing.
From my experience, I find that everyone that I've met along is not, in any way; stupid. Some people just learn faster than others, while some are slower. So far I haven't had any chance of meeting any geniuses along the way - but I guess those people are few and far between.
So that just leaves us average folks who has to learn/study the way normal way. The hard way. Sometimes I hear people arguing - "owh, but you don't have to learn it that way - learn the smart way instead". Bulls. It is correct I guess up to certain extent - but it only can apply to a select few. Try preaching that "study smart" idea to the class at the end of the hallway where their teachers can only dream of having their students ace-ing their papers. They (the students) don't learn the smart way because they choose not to - it's because they can't. Repetition method would probably work best with those bunch. But don't make the mistake of labelling them stupid or anything. To me, it's just a simple fact that they don't learn things they way most people do. Well actually most people I think don't even learn the smart way - they still do the it the hard way - but think that it's the smart way. Go figure.
Smart.
Sometimes I feel really disappointed with our exam-oriented education system. How people who aces the UPSRs, the PMRs, the SPMs - would be perceived as smart and intelligent and be given all the help they can get to pursue their dreams on achieving greater heights. Is it even actually fair to do that? To make that judgement call - to say that so and so is a smart person whilst so and so is not; when the latter student probably had not been given the learning environment that would give him a better chance or an equal footing with his/her peers in acquiring knowledge?
What am I talking about?
I am talking about the different methods of teaching and knowledge acquisition by people. You see, people are different - when it comes to how they acquire knowledge. Some learn best by listening, some learn best by viewing, some uses repetitions and others - well they have their own methods. My point is - there is not a one sure-fire method that would ensure that knowledge be acquired in it's "wholesomeness" (for lack of a better word). Different people rely on different method.
So it's quite astounding that some schools (if not most/all) are using the same method to teach kids around the nation and somehow expect them all to ace the papers. I guess it's OK if children here in Malaysia are cloned from a single copy and would all probably share the same learning method - but that's just fantasy. As a result, some would eventually be penalized due to their "different" way of picking things up. Hence - perceived as a failure.
Parents and teachers. IMO, those two should play a crucial role in identifying how their student/children would learn best. If you wanna wait for the kid to actually tell you how they learn best - it's probably gonna be too late by then.
In my ideal dreamlike world - a series of tests and interviews should be run prior to the your kid submission into a school, so that they could identify the most optimal method of teaching. And even the school is not your typical everyday school that you see nowadays. The school would function like our modern day colleges - they don't have to learn everything under the sun - just a few. They pick the subjects that they want to learn about - where their interest and strength lies in. There's no point in sending your kids to learn heavy maths if the only thing that he/she could see when they look at the books are numbers and alphabets going upside down and sideways (that's a known disease btw). Let them learn art or craftsmanship instead (or maybe even bakery).
Let them enjoy learning instead of them having to feel sorry for themselves. Empower them. Encourage them. Support them.
Personally, I don't think people are stupid. They've just been taught the wrong way.
I love having a her around.
I love seeing her antics everyday - I don't think there's any dull moment with her around. Of course - that is somewhat of an overstatement. But in general - I really do love having her around. She would make all sorts of faces - and when you've been with her for sometime, you'd tend to recognize what does each face she makes means. Sometimes she gets annoyed, at times she'll have that i-have-a-stomach-ache face, in the mornings she'll give you that million dollar smile (and some laughter too), in other times she'll pester you with her "tak ikhlas" cry, and etc etc.
We'd take her practically everywhere we go to these days. To the bank, to the hypermarket, even to IKEA. I'd have to say that dad's baby carrier (bought for Aqilah, but seldomly used) has been a big help (a VERY big help).
Another invention that warrants a huge kudos is the digital camera - for which without it we wouldn't be able to catch that "moments" in our everyday life with relative ease. As for me, I'm thankful for them digicams for it provides me with the necessary materials for me to make fun of my daughter later in her life. Yes Safiyya, your dad IS like that. :)
"Hehe - dah baring pun masih nak alas tangan lagi?"
3 months.
Or is it 2 months? Probably around 3 months or so. Yeah.. 3 months I suppose.
That's how long I've stayed here in Desa Subang Permai - at my in laws' place. I've been here since Safiyya was like 2 weeks old and have stayed here ever since. She's now 2 1/2 months old.
So umm yeah - it's around 2 months.
A lot of stuff has happened since then (thank you mr. obvious).
Work.
Another one of my colleague is leaving. Another one. I guess it's kinda of the "in" thing nowadays amongst us who've been here around 2 years or so. The greener pasture - that pot of gold over the rainbow. Of course - who wouldn't budge if they've got a better offer eh? I know I wo... now let's just keep that between me and myself for now. lolz.
But generally most of us do agree that there's basically nothing wrong here in the first place. No politics (not that apparent anyways), good environment to thrive in (and to some - quite comfortable at times) and a lot of other good things. So yeah - generally we don't really have much stuff to bitch about - other than stuff like complaining about our salary, chasing that "better offer", heavy workload etc etc. Sometimes though - I think we're pretty much making those stuff up just to "have" a decent conversation. Well you gotta talk about something during those tea breaks right?
Safiyya.
She's been beefing herself up real good. She is so beefed up right now I think those people at the gym would kill to have a body like hers. That's how beefed up my daughter is. So beefy. Hehe.
Sometimes it just amazes me how that simple origin of breastmilk (they came from breasts, if you're still wondering) can have so much nutrition that Safiyya seems to get heavier by the days. Subhanallah. I guess that why breastmilk is the best milk meant for them. And it's easy on the wallet too. Yeah. So no complaints in that department.
Every morning is a cheerful event to Safiyya. You can usually catch her at her best mood during the early morning after she wakes up. You can say just about anything - make any lame jokes - and she can make you feel that you're as talented as Russell Peters (or Afdlin Shauki - whichever is your preference).
Misc.
Insyaallah, I plan to relocate our little family to a place which is nearer to our families in Shah Alam. Hopefully we manage to work that plan out and become Shah Alam-ian in a couple of months. For now though, I guess I'll have to refrain myself from updating the status of the acquisition any further since it's not yet a done deal. The wheels have been set into motion though - so..yeah..that's that.
A couple of days back, probably last week - my boss called me in for a chat.
"Now what could this be about" - I wondered to myself. I recently got a baby (read my earlier blog post) and I was secretly hoping that they'll use this as an excuse to give a salary hike.
Apparently, somehow, someway; the people in the higher up have found out about my blog - and my seemingly "negative" outlook on the company (and no news of me getting a raise either :( ).
Dun dun dun.
Not that it really matters I suppose (to me that is). It was written, because that was how it was the way I saw it back then. I read back those posts which were seemingly "negative" - didn't found anything wrong there to be honest. So I guess I couldn't really understand what the fuss was all about actually. Though I could understand their concern on the 'company-image' part.
Which company wouldn't wanna protect it's image? For them to be a competitive, they have to have the "right" people. And to get that "right" people - you'd have to deserve them. You'd have to have the right outlook so that the "right" kinda people would be drawn to you. Don't get me started on how image is perceived by shareholders - that's a totally different chapter.
But they were professional about it (yay!). And deservedly earn my respect because of that. I've always like the 'open-communication' thing going on in the company. I've never felt uncomfortable to just barge in the boss' office and lay down how I feel about anything (not that I ever do those kind of things.). But in any case this recent experience proves just that.
Maybe the kind of posts I've been writing may have had a hand in putting off those talented people's interest in the company. Which really sucks I guess coz actually the place is a really good place to be in. Although I'd have to say - it's not for any type of people. You'd really have to be willing to learn and relearn. And work on the soft skills. And be prepared to face the customers shooting you million dollar questions.
Not that I mind - coz I honestly find it challenging and interesting. But as I said - what works for me probably won't be the same for you.
With great power comes great responsibility. Now that the blog has gained some visibility in the higher ups - chances are - every other people on the planet who's interested in Comptel would probably by chance stumble into here too. Which leads to "ethical" writing as compared "as-i-feel-at-the-moment" kind of writing.
Yeah right. IMO I should still be writing as-is.
I've been there once. A fresh graduate wanting to find that suitable job, looking eagerly for that suitable place, trying to get to know them "right" employer.
So I scoured the net. Read through forums. Linked up with people from the industry. Tried to get that "insider" information on who's good and who's bad, which company pays more than the rest of the pack and offering the best in terms of career growth and learning experience. In short, I was trying to get the best deal.
But those kinds of info are not that easy to come by. Especially the real, brutally honest, down to earth reviews which would really be a help in one's decision making.
I imagine employers nowadays must be really having a hard time trying to control their employees from exposing the "family" secrets. Sime Darby makes for a very good case study in this context.
Enough with that for now.
Last week I felt rather low when I found out that another of my "teh tarik" buddy is leaving. This particular fella was probably the closest person I could relate to there as an employee, due to the fact that we came from the same university, and joined in together as a fresh graduate. He'd probably have a good reason for it (to leave) I suppose.
Me? Sometimes I can't shake the feeling like my days here are numbered. One by one, my "teh tarik" buddies are leaving, and sometimes those things does influence you in certain ways. Maybe it's just how people behaves these days - they see a better option - and off they go (not that's it's a bad thing). Rossi mentioned that it's actually quite normal to see people leaving in batches - it happened during his days too.
Probably it's natural. Maybe. But it's kinda hard to keep focusing on your goal when you're facing this kind of predicament (my goal is trying to become an architect btw). I have this weird idea where I thought if I could stay long enough - I could become this one helluva guru on mediation. Yeah - we'll just see how that one pans out now won't we.
It's getting late. Better finish this post now so that I could play with Safiyya. :)
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Finally.
I officially became a dad last Sunday on the 25th of July 2010. The time was 4:16pm. I was waiting outside the operating theater - rather restless - waiting for any news from the inside.
Earlier that day, the doctor had given my wife some kind of fluid to help induce her contraction.
It wasn't a pretty sight, trust me. Over 5 long, painful and agonizing hours - her opening has just increased by probably a single cm. The nurse told us that she probably had a thick servic (if that is how you spell it). So I've decided to hell with trying to go via the normal procedure and just bring on the caesarian. Personally and I don't think my wife can take this amount of pain any longer. It hurts her - and me.
"Ya Allah selamatkanlah kedua isteri dan anak ku". Silently I waited and prayed outside. You could say that it was one of those moments where the clock seems to somehow tick real slow and a second could seem like a lifetime.
I was all by myself in the waiting room. Sitting in some beat-up couch - looking to my left and right, but mostly towards the door of the O.T. "What's taking them so long?" I pondered on.
Earlier the nurse had said that the c sect procedure would normally take around 15 minutes for the baby, and another 1 hour for the mother. It's been nearly 30 minutes past 4pm, I haven't heard anything from inside yet. 30 minutes - is not how long it would normally take. The mind games had begun.
Somewhere, in a distant place, I could hear a flat tone slowly ringing - like those flat lines sounds you hear when the heart is no longer beating. I wasn't sure whether the sound i heard was just me or whether it's real - but it did gave my head some severe headache and my heart went on an emotional roller-coaster.
At that moment I could never imagine living without my significant other. I'd probably quit my day job and put myself into an oil rig or off into some ship somewhere - somewhere far away from here to forget all about my previous life and start again from zero.
As my eyes starts to swell, I could feel the tears were just waiting for me to give the go-ahead.
And then the cleaner came. Talk about an anti-climax moment.
And I was like (while swearing and cursing inside) trying to control myself before the watergate opens up.
The cleaner sure took her sweet time cleaning the floor around the waiting room I can give you that.
Later that day I found out that the baby (girl) was safely delivered, and her mother was OK too. "Alhamdulillah" - I thought to myself.
That pretty much sums up my first waiting-for-your-wife-to-deliver experience.
Quietly, on some nights - I realize that this baby - this little bundle of joy of mine is going to grow up someday. She's gonna learn to walk, go to school, go to some college and probably meet up with some guy that would probably sweep her off her feet and they'll get married and live happily.
By then though ... she would no longer be our little girl ... she would no longer need me to carry her around ... she would no longer need me to feed her ... change her diaper ... give her that nudge so that she burps after she drinks milk.
...
...
...
Right now thinking about her growing up and be independent and lead her own life somehow brings sorrow to my heart. It aches deep. It aches long. It's like - it's like somehow I wish things could go on like this forever. Guess I kinda like having her being dependent on me. Guess I already miss my little girl.
To Mom...to Dad, know that I love you guys very much and if you need(or don't need) anything from me you guys just say the word and I'll make it happen.
To Safiyya Amani, dad loves you very much too.
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Safiyya strikes back!
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