it's 11.23pm right now. last nite at about this time around, my body smelled like a marinated barbeque chicken. i had fun last nite. sure it was tiring, but it was satisfying. sife members- the ex too - were having a gud time. i had my shares of the meat too. never did get the salad though. the garlic bread was good. the lamb - the best!. but i hadn't had many of those. it wouldnt be gud too eat too much of that i think.
after the barbeque, i played two rounds of monopoly. the first didn't have an ending, the second,..lasted into the early morning. u could really learn a lot about another person by playing that game. manipulative we were..each and every one of us..hahaha..it was great!.
met with nadya at the barbeque. somehow i think it was like the first time i have had a real conversation with her, hahaha..reminder to self..call her up on monday~ the basmi kemiskinan project has lots of loose ends..at first i was kinda hopin nazlia had all the bases covered, but life is not always beautiful eh? we're gonna have a lot of work to do in front of us..and obviously um hopin for it to work out in the end.
i suck at swimming! that was something which i remembered instantly earlier this morning as i struggled to do laps in the pool..gud thing um not running for the olympics..or a lifeguard,..like u know who..hahaha
tomorrow is gonna be a busy day..i think. um gonna get a bank draft(is that the correct translation?) for the green card thingy..have to see the doctor for my gatal2 problem(dammit i have to change the mattress~urghh!!)..hurm..wat else..oh and yeah..call nadya for the project thingy~..
right now..i wish there are 8 days in a week..i need a break~..
it's about 130 am and i still havent packed my stuff for the trip tomorrow. port dickson..it's been awhile since ive been there..by being there i don't mean passing by or anything like that..i meant staying there..like a holiday..or a picnic.
neways, back to the title..meeting at muadzam. en suhaimi wasn't an ass at all it seems. he looks like a nice fella,..real neat..he does have that "i've been around" look in his face, and he does now what he's doing..so all in all..we're in good hand..so no worries there.
right now um kinda curious as to what type of work asilah is gonna give us to help the new zealand trip get along smoothly. now um not implying that i do not want or like any work she'll give us..um just curious..that's all. u people out there don't get ne funny ideas ok~ it's bad enuf um feeling like a stowaway..hehe..trying to make myself look useful to the guys at HRC..um sure famie n huda are feeling the same way too.
over the days after the bitter defeat over sife uitm, i've heard a couple of our guys bitchin 'bout their x-fresh project..the one with the community service annoucement for those of u guys who hadn't had a clue yet. neways..it's not my style to bitch along..until i've finally heard it today. what a load of bull! i mean some of their messages doesn't even have anything to do with enterpreneurship at all....hurmm..but then again..if i could remember it clearly..i've stopped listening and started swearing the moment i heard they said "kat mane aku nak sorok perut aku ni..". i think that they were giving people advice on how to lead a healthy life..but um not THAT sure..so maybe they've stashed some enterpreneurial message in there..when i wasn't paying much attention...hurmm, can't remember...
the new zealand thingy really does sounds great. if everything works out as planned, we're gonna do the whole NZ in less than 2 weeks. a hectic schedule + tired asses = chance of life time. there's something in life u just can't buy, for everything else, there's duit ytn.
um tired right now..my eyes are heavy..feels like i wanna just lay down here on the carpet and sleep the night off. but as it turns out i havent studied anything yet,..n also do the isyak prayer.
the meeting was..in my view..quite chaotic. though famie called it a "brainstorming session"..i personally don't think the stuff that are talked about then are ever constructive at all. i mean yeah sure u can say a lot of thing..but who the hell is gonna do it? plus the idea itself is kinda vague and has lots of loose ends. um sorry for being so pessimistic about the futsal agenda, but i just cant see why do we as sife uniten is even considering and even wasting our precious time in the meeting talking about it. not to mention uniten football club is gonna do the same thing, the same "futsal" competition.
um being an ass right now..i know..tell me about it. maybe its just the frustration making itself known to the world,..reaching out to find some justification. the meeting, like aza said herself..had no conclusion.
and aza gave up on the ractar girls..boo hoo. well..it wouldnt be fair to say tht its just her..perhaps it was all of us eh? i dont know..sure it can be frustrating to teach and not seeing the result immediately or not as u would have expected..but that is just human, i think.
to me they lack the urge to want to do it. they lack,..motivation. with proper motivation they(the ractar girls) can achieve lots of things..but nah..we here as sife uniten are too impatient to wait for those things..we can't afford to do this silly project where we teach and they listen and then they do nothing and becoz of that we'd have no concrete evidence to show that their lives has been impacted and then with no impact, we can't go to new york. nope..no sirree..we don't want to end up tht way do we..not again....not to UiTM...new york suure IS everything~..
um sorry. got emotional a bit there.
back to reality, um looking forward to see how the "apprentice" and "basmi kemiskinan" project would go..sounds kinda neat. hope i could learn a lot~
i guess thts it for tonite..got some pages i got to cover tonite in case mr.vigna get some funny ideas and gives a quiz tomorrow...wouldnt wanna be caught with my pants down now would i?
yesterday went to see the final of the great WC. zidane scored a penalty, materazzi equalised. the match went into extra time, and zidane did what i'd say THE HEADER OF THE YEAR..i mean really..i've never seen nething like it..perhaps coz i haven't been living long enuf..newho, that matter aside..it was a night to remember..i mean seeing someone headbutting someone else in the head is for me...quite a norm..but to the chest? dang...n the fella fell like a cempedak di luar pagar..hahaha
poor zidane. a pity we were watchin the feed off of astro..i wonder what would hasbullah awang said about that incident..a funny fella that guy is...
italy went on to win the match by penalty. it wasn't the best of penalties..buffon just cant compete with ricardo when it comes to penalty..
gud day i dont have ne classes the next day. went on to sleep at 8am the next morning..owh..bliisss..
tomorrow ..i mean today..we're gonna have another SIFE meeting..to talk about the next big thing i suppose. it's gud to see people have been holdin their chins up n lookin forward on the next project. and boy have we got projects or what! the early talks about the projects sounds kinda boombastic and grand..but i do sincerely think that we might just be able to pull this thing off...with everybody being so hyped up and all...um just hopin that the high spirit the team has been able to get following the loss can be kept high for the of the whole year and beyond..and it's nice to see mr. rezal playin his role quite role well..he may not be an expert on the subject..but his efforts..yeah..its nice to see him hyped up about new york.
Thursday, a day after the competition.
last nite was one helluva a nite. emotions ran high, as SIFE Uniten once again failed to get the ever elusive title of champion in the SIFE National Competition. after the announcement, the members can be seen cryin everywhere. Aza was like hopping from one shoulder to another, Adam was devastated, Zulia cried hard too, and Fahmi just went nuts..and eventually did the tawaf around the dining hall..(or so as i see it..didnt know where he went really..) As for me, i'm quite dissappointed too, i mean..who the hell doesn't wanna win right? but i was cool or manage to act like so, tried to cheer people up, joke a little..but to no avail...for obvious reason of course. Huda,..well she was tryin to cheer people up too..she kept her poker face all the way the way throughout the nite. As for me, maybe i lacked the passion these guys had...of the SIFE spirit as one would say it. It was a great experience nonetheless. Not to say that i like losing or anything..but it was...i mean there was a lot that you could then and there...how i like to analyze the human psyche..owh..
Tryin to understand how they feel..i went back in time when i did the flash presentation from my malaysian studies subject. for me..it was as gud as it gets and i honestly dont think that anybody could've done it better..with the videos, the albums, the report, the way we presented it..sleek and all..i'd say we went pretty much all out with tis one. But then rite there in the exam hall..while taking the MASB exam, en ariff had actually come up at me and told me he was quite dissatisfied with the assignment..and i was like, what the hell do i have to do to impress this guy..what more can i come up with to get an A for this subject? And then it hit me...the hurting feeling deep inside my heart..like a thorn buried nice and deep with no chance of gettin it out. So, enraged and confused..i went to his office and confronted him..in the hopes that in someway i could..enlighten him and present a better impression for our project at him.. He explained and blah blah blah..but for some reason the pain was still there..the discontent..He did however apologized for the way he broke the news out to me..like u don't go n tell people a bad news while he is takin an exam kinda mistake...at least i got that message across.
neways...back to the last nite situation, maybe if i had been there before, like Adam and Fahmi had been, perhaps i'd be goin nuts too. I frankly don't like being emotional and all..in those situation,..coz i can't think straight. so on i walked here and there, hearing what other people have to say, the tears, the broken dreams, the ever elusive victory..the unnattainable glory..
later that nite came a shocker. after a "sophisticated" argument held between Famie, Adam and Zul Saadon, the "truth" was finally revealed to the surface. the authenticity of this news is however..in my personal opinion, can be argued upon. so um just not too sure. but from what they had told me after,..during an impromptu meeting held at some mamak restaurant..it seems that the system, the judging system...from what i can conclude..does raise a few eyebrows here n there. do we have a solid proof? No. Does it raise any doubts? Hell yes. People just looove a gud conspiracy theory don't they?
Having doubts over the system was quite enuf to make me side with Adam and fahmi over the tehir idea of sending the "formal" complaint letter. Taking sides doesn't mean that i'm agreeing on all their terms..Aza, had some gud points too on the matter. She was like the yin of Adam's yang. Throughout the year i've known Aza, she tried her best to please everybody, taking others consideration into account when making her decisions. that..i realize, is quite a feat. since i'm not that good in inter relationships myself. she tries to see the situations from many angles, but mainly so that people..everyone, can be pleased. she was being...a malay. not that being a malay sucks or nething. but the usual..typical malay..is well..nice. so wats wrong wit being nice? nothing. she'd thought about the implications, what would happen if we did this..and so on..Adam on the other hand, just wanted the competition to be a fair playing ground, where one can feel gud even in losing.
A tiger, as always. If Adam was a tiger, then i'd say Fahmi was rather a tank. Once it has started moving, it was quite pointless to try and stop it. No offense though, just a figure of speech. there was this moment, it was a real joy to watch actually, though by me saying that people might be thinking now that um a jerk. neways here goes. fahmi was rambling on and on..telling us bout his thoughts on the matter at hand, when suddenly Zulia wanted to chip in and object to what Famie was sayin. the came the funny part(to me of course..i dunno bout the rest of u guys..perhaps i have a sick understanding of humour..). fahmi had actually raised his arm and like points his finger toward Zulia..intimidating her to back off and let him finish (u don't see those thing very often..hehe..i know..um sick..) I was like..owh fuck! this guy really had done it..he's on his afterburner..going all the way..and then i went like..."rileks...rileks.."..patting his back quite gently. hehehe..you really don't wanna mess with him at that time. It wasn't funny then of course..the oven...the vibe..it was really heatin up. If we were in the freezer, i think u'd see smoke coming out of his ears..hehe. But look at it tis way..say 20 years..nah..let us take just 2...2 years from now..after we are done with this sife thingamajig..we'd eb looking back at tis day and laugh at it...at how pathetic we were back then..myself included...sedangkan lidah lagi tergigit..
and then there was fairuz. from my point of view, his opinion, was the one i liked the most, as he was, taking the middle road of the argument. and along the way while telling us his thoughts,..he cracked. like a huge hammer had suddenly smacked him rite in the face...an emotional moment it was..even i was holding myself together..
it ended well of course, or i'd like to think that it ended well. never knew what other people were thinking coz last time i checked my name ain't charles xavier. it was another lesson on emotions. people do stupid, regrettable thing when they are not thinking straight..and emotions had that effect on people, especially me of course. that's why i hate getting myself involved in a heated argument..and also why i like to write my feelings down rather than saying them, it seems..wholesome..more thorough i suppose..
"SIFE Uniten is hot to go.."
well...we are one hot bunch indeed...
